Pilgrim

Legalize asbestos

Holy moses I really did burn like half the whole roof of my mouth Ouch

I need another monitor

The Fedi Foids

Get groomed, idiot

If you suspect you're a chud, congratulate yourself

A trans coded this video file??

And awomen, lest we forget our sisters

Fat men are supposed to be jolly How come I'm so gloomy

I ship everyone (except me) with everyone else (except me)

Too old to not have already been taken out by some means

I cast testicular tort

An AI girlfriend would fix (finish destroying) me for good

New gameshow: "Who Wants to be Zillionaire" When you win you get a T-shirt that says, "Zillionaire" and your name in the credita each week because there's no such thing as a zillion

I should go be a barfly

Everyone I don't like is a homosexual

How come there's a 'd' in fridge but not in 'refrigerator'

is we getting a pleroma security release today?

Well that was nice but now I am ready to km/s myself

I love the Military Industrial Complex

Who up scrunking they unc?

sorry decayable peeps, didn't expect slow migration on upgrade

legalize nuclear bombs

[ scream ] [ fuck ]

die <

Schleeby kitty

I got a fever

Pair of truly killer divorcees seated next to me at the old folks' bar tonight

I don't know; at this point I don't want to know

I got a fever

Time to not hit on this same bartender again

Smokies

Resisted the urge to flirt with the bartender award

In this neck of the woods, "doesn't have a stupid haircut" makes you a solid 7

How dare you

Why is my body sore

Power Word: Peel

I'm fergalicious, in case you were suspicious

I hate boomers

Reposted without alt text

I refuse

Apparently I only sleep 7 hours

Hey, you Youre mentally ill

I'm an irregular at this bar, but the regular regulars being involved in all the gossip about the worker's love lives is endlessly hilarious to me

I could throw down on some oreos tbqh

Last belt notch :0330:

docker build go brrrt

I'm making soup today, I'm beyond pumped

https://www.fromvalerieskitchen.com/chicken-and-sausage-stew-with-white-beans-and-spinach/

Backlit kitty selfie

Woke up at exactly the fedi dead hour and there is no sleep

Oh my LANTA that was a satisfying piss

Porsche at the goodwill Are times that fucken tough??

You've got to stop yearning, young man. You're too old.

drywall is culturally relevant to yhe youths

I'm doing my thing wrong

Isn't it Argentines?

Putting 4 ice cubes in my coffee so I can slam 3 and get back to work

Ow, my ass

Heh, man licker

at least it isn't something obscene

There's an evil stench trying to kill me

AND BROTHER, I STAY HARD My doctor is very concerned

Model a healthy relationship for your kids, or else

I should develop a crippling gambling addiction

Chat, shall we go to the church yard sale tomorrow? I could get the new jeans on the cheap

Oh my darling, Clementine

Copy that floppy in EVERY POST

Post this when he least expects it

https://media.darkdork.dev/dc/e0/2c/dce02c7864eeaa73767e1a6f58c40ba9b241d7abe2d0ae345a29f92c72b06799.png

Frankly my dear, I do give a damn.

Two more nights then two weeks off

This is me btw

Insufferable edgelord versus immovable autist

It's not even a full moon, what's gotten into y'all?

The cure for male depression is lifting btw

It's hose night :0140:

Killing my belf bro

Toil is easier on behalf of a loved one

Moving to japan to open my own truck stop that serves unhealthy American food and breakfast as its gimmick

Perndog was right, I absolutely could have lied about that

wrong answers only:

Theorytoe is mormon

Merc did the poast hack btw

why the fuck it so small

Kid named parody of himself

Well this blows

Am I going to hell for sipping the bean water like soup after I finished the pinto beans?

Time to put all my singles in the atm :000:

The parents of the young children are older and older

Goober

Actually the keyboard manufacturer owns the copyright to my code because I used it to generate the source

Fedi UN at it again

Who up?

Fucken lowkirkenuinely starvin

3.5 more hours and then I can do nothing because I'm a retard who works nights with no chance of doing anything on my weekend

Nightshift fedi is weird, man

Preposterously wide motherfucker