Yelling at my 2yr old son "NOoOo, don't touch those little cars, they are very hot!!!". He's making a confused face. I tell him "it's Hot Wheels! It says it right here on the box".
Worth it. #dadstr
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My son was misbehaving with his hotwheels! Guess who gets to play with them now!? Bwahaha 😈😈😈 #dadstr https://blossom.primal.net/e01231f3db205f32976e33c32d1601a2fea8198f9e71d0ca40e7cb78171cd8e9.jpg
When doctor mentioned that our 2yr will get "opinionated" now, we did not realize the only opinion will be "NO". #dadstr
Do you know the Muffin Man? The Muffin Man! I have a cease and desist letter to deliver...
#dadstr
Is there a legal limit to how many times can you hear the wheels on the bus per day?
#dadstr
I just heard in kids song about 5 spot ladybugs. Stupid propaganda!
#dadstr
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It's funny how my wife always thinks our son has autism, while he's just doing the same stuff I do.
He's rubbing a couch for 3 minutes because it has grooves and she's like "oh no, he has autism" and I'm like "those are some cool grooves, I want to rub those".
#dadstr
This is horrible. I'm just filing a police report that the three little kittens lost their mittens. It looks like they shall have no pie. I'll report back as the situation evolves.
#dadstr
Who splashed lingering potion on our infant bitcoiner during diaper changing?!?
#dadstr #minecraft
So our infant baby sometimes starts talking in a very deep throat based voice using words from an unknown ancient language.
What do parents usually do in such cases? Baby Tylenol? Garlic?
#dadstr
11/27/2024, 2 engagements
Pacifier reduces the noise output by 50%.
#dadstr
11/12/2024, 3 engagements
Does itsy bitsy spider suffer from a short term memory loss?
#dadstr 🕷️
Oh bureaucracy. Flying with a kid and a foldable stroller that fits in the overhead bin - we got at least 3 employees at the airport ask us if we have a bag for it and we always said "yes". Noone actually cared if we use that bag (we never did), but everyone cared if we have it.
Sometimes you just have to check their checkmarks...
#dadstr
So based on what the doctor said, can more monkeys jump on the bed?
#dadstr
Mixing some formula while getting ready to watch formula 1! #dadstr #f1