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I kissed that guy and he kissed me back. No risk, no reward.

Burn it

I'd rather be pregnant.

I'm going to do what I love and what I do best. I've decided to be a Professional Retard.

I feel like every day I don't start smoking again, nor do I kill someone.... Is a good day.

For everyone.

I want a cigarette. Just one.

I tell my son that when the Taliban took Afghanistan, they did it with like 30 guys with AKs. And their first target was the media. They went and beheaded journalists on live TV. And that is the kind of shit I support 10,000,000%

Also, I may have embellished or made up some of this, but I don't care anymore. I'm pushing my own narrative now. KILL ALL MIND VIRUSES.

Drinking to make other people tolerable.

I want to be 8 and playing Zelda on the NES again. Fuck being an adult.

Literally think a spider bit my face by my eyebrow. Is it just me or are hella bugs wilding out this year?

Being able to drink water out of the tap in Pennsylvania is something you don't expect.

If only you knew how pregnant we wanted to be.

I shouldn't be allowed on the internet. CAUTION ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️

Update: Noggers, I'm at a loss. I have maximized legal maximums of Xannies and will have to procure alternative mind-altering substances elsewhere.

Wish me luck. whimsical fairy music ensues

Burn hand cutting peppers today making son favorite hot sauce for birthday. Pain and burning. Try ice. Not working. Google search has 800 remedies. Try all of them. Back to ice. Take Valium to stop pain. Too sleepy to keep hand in ice. Pain still unabated. Why am I retarded like this? Science must provide answers. ​

The internet is for deviants. It's ending. Normal people won't associate in the future. Screen shot this.

Old way: Where can I meet racists near me?

New way: I'm going to make all the men near me ..... racist.

I like how absolutely nobody in the crowd dropped their beers. I fucking love Americans sometimes.

Good afternoon, mateys. Make sure to control the environment around you with indomitable Aryan spirit and excellence.

It's so annoying that I can't teleport and break people's arms for talking shit.

"WaHmEn ToDaY aInT sHiT" lol how does it feel that you guys got replaced by dildos and cats? Just saying.

They hate us because they ain't us. Lmao

Damn I love blades so much

Why is everyone asking if I quit cold turkey like they can't believe me?? 🤔 I say what I mean and do what I say. How is this unbelievable?

Is this a joke?

Day 7 no smoking. It's a miracle.

I reeeeeeally, really wanted this.

Happy Father's day, to all my HOT DADDIES!

My little girl thought this was funny 😁

Going into any major shit hole and killing 20 random loiterers would probably save the taxpayers 20 million dollars. Just a thought.

Have a cough. Search the internet. Turns out I have tuberculosis. Goodbye, frens.​

How soon should someone tell you they love you because I am thinking you should probably meet them first .... maybe I'm old-fashioned.

When I sneeze, I want everyone to know.

K so personal problem. I can't let anybody close to me. Is there something I can do to mentally escape my self-imposed imprisonment?

Poast feels like that show Cheers, anyone remember that one? Cozy. Gab feels increasingly like interacting with someone if Walmart were a person.

Yep. Think I'll just go cougar at this point. You get to a point where chasing the father figure is no longer appealing.

I'm not

Nature and Disgrace on Gab is such a faggot. I would be willing to go out on a limb and say he's never seen a vagina IRL.

Is it just me or is it normal to wake up spontaneously in the middle of the night and need to check the perimeter (of the property)? Why am I like this?

Holocaust marathon on History Channel

pulls out knife Alright, let's make you some shorts.

I'm off the clock. Time to open a beer. Thank God this shit is over.... for now.

I misread that and it still made sense.

Is this a haiku?

Imagine the psychosis of seeing ovens in places they're not.... isn't this a mental disorder?

Is this place being a bit buggy? Where did the messages go?

Good morning, my darlings!

I'm going to be making some lemoncello because summer needs lemons and vodka on ice.

You're not depressed. You just haven't read Tolkien.